Small Surrenders

[mandysee_mandydo]

Why must I be so daft? Vacation means one doesn't work, yet during my week off I have a couple moments when I've set myself up to go into work, even if only for a moment. It's these small surrenders that utterly destroy me as a person. I know I shouldn't do it, but I let other people talk me into crap like this because I have this "need" to be helpful.

I really need to learn to have a spine and say "No. I'm on vacation. Come back next week."

Hey Jim, could you remind me next time, please?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yikes! That is so easy to do, Jamie. I sometimes think giving ourselves adequate "space" is one of the hardest things in life to learn. And that's precisely because the appeal of helping people who need you is so powerful.

- Sunstone

[srturtle.livejournal.com]

I agree, and it seems I make these small surrenders far too often.

[aunrea (from livejournal.com)]

I do that all the time, except since I don't have a job I end up working for people for free. For instance I created and continue to maintain chscrapbooks.com and do not get paid. So I vowed I would not help anyone else without compensation (If I had charged chscrapbooks.com $10 hour, my rate, they would owe me over $500,000). Yet again I am working on another site, although this one is for my mother. But I also had someone ask me if I could help them set up a blog... I need to stop helping people with creating websites, especially when unemployment is out only income right now!

[srturtle.livejournal.com]

Yes! You should take care of yourselves! I hope you're able to find a job, as well as Sam. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for the three of you with just unemployment.

[ciliandis.livejournal.com]

I have the same problem you do - I volunteered to work Thursday morning, when I was meant to have the whole day off, and now I don't have a full day to myself until Wednesday. Though, I did manage to start putting my foot down this past week, when I realized that sure, sometimes it does mean extra money, but working so much means I don't get to rest.

Just the same, though, hon, don't say they destroy you. They set you back a little, but ... I doubt it leads to anything so dire.

I've started the book you let me borrow. Haven't gotten too too far into it yet, but so far it's very interesting, and I'm glad you gave me a chance to read it. Which reminds me: just because you don't necessarily have the strength to put down your foot at work, certainly does not mean that you lack strength elsewhere. You're one of the strongest people I know, because of some of the things you go through.

[srturtle.livejournal.com]

It's not so much that each one in itself destroys me, but with the volume of small surrenders that I seem to make, it tends to often end up in a deluge.

I'm glad you're enjoying the book. I enjoyed it immensely, and it's also very enlightening. Thank you for the kind words.