mandysee_mandydo: (Default)

thank you for
helping me find my strength
adding to my resilience and resolve
now i can see it
knowledge comes with distance and time



you tried to burn me
only to see me rise from the ashes
up to my better self

( Dedicated to all of my bullies and abusers through the years. I wouldn't be the person I am today without you.)

mandysee_mandydo: (Default)
trees
reaching into the sky
branches caress the air
looking for breath
just like

lungs
nestled in our bosoms
bronchioles caress the air
looking for breath
there is a

pattern
the way the lines split
and split again
and split again
and split again
the repetition and reiteration
is all very

mathematical
fractals occurring in nature
imperfectly executed
variables in every deviation

are you so surprised by your flaws?

look up
look inside
it's in all of nature
it's in all our natures
the way we are

crooked
gnarly
tangled
asymmetrical
wondrous
awe-inspiring
beautiful
mandysee_mandydo: (Default)
Full length mirrors reflect a bigger picture
I stopped in front of one today
I saw so many imperfections
I said to myself
Lady, you are so much more than that
That's your body
It's not perfect
But it's yours
Live in it
Love it
Own it
Every flaw
Every inch
Every pound
Every curve
You are beautiful
You are smart
You are strong
You have power
The things those eyes and thighs have seen and
Still you are here
Still going
Still breathing
Still living and learning and loving
And lady can you do all of those
With passion as hot and wild as fire
That mirror has it's own imperfections
Let that light within you shine brightly
Let the shadows fall where they may
See it all in your reflection
Recognize yourself
And appreciate
All of you

Be Proud

Aug. 14th, 2015 11:35 pm
mandysee_mandydo: (Default)
Early in my transition I decided to write a poem about my self-love. Since I felt it was unrequited but burgeoning, I chose to write it as a Petrarchan sonnet. It was a fun exercise that inspired me to take the work of transition seriously and build myself up. Since I am once again doing the work to reclaim my self-worth and reawaken my sense of self-love, I chose to repeat the poetic process.

This time I refused to allow my self-love to be unrequited. No Petrarchan sonnet this time. I'm going full-on, sappy, sweet, lovey-dovey Shakespearean sonnet in spite of my distaste for the form. If the shoe fits... Fourteen lines, typical rhyming scheme, iambic pentameter, and the volta at line 9 that turns the gloomy toward the light. My imperfections are just another side of who I am. There are bright and beautiful sides. It's time they caught the light, too. So, without further ado...

Be Proud

As lines of silver streak my brunette locks
And stretch marks ripple round my heavy waist,
I struggle finding ample fitting frocks
And tears with mem'ries oft roll down with haste.

Emotions once before kept stuffed inside
Crouch ready to lash out with just a flinch.
My spirit's only happy just to hide
and legs too weary under pound and inch.

Yet these are just mere facets of my self,
imperfect yes but not without their shine!
So turn the gem that's me upon the shelf
And deeper beauty lusters clear and fine.

Oh Self, I did the best I could today.
Be proud, and know I love you anyway.

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Jamie Amana Capach

September 2016

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