Do I Look Stupid?

[mandysee_mandydo]

So, I had an experience on Saturday that I admit both annoyed and perplexed me. Kathy and I went to a local sporting goods shop that sells among other things bicycles and bicycle parts. We needed a new tube for the front tire on her bicycle and we preferred to shop local instead of going to WalMart. We went in and looked around, couldn't find the tubes, so we asked. It turns out they had them in a display case tucked away in a corner of the front of the store. No problem. They asked for size, I told them, and the younger man working there grabbed the tube for me. The older man working the counter (and I believe the owner) asked something like "Aren't you going to need help putting that on your bike?" I responded that it wouldn't be a problem, that tubes are easy and I've replaced plenty in my life. He chuckled and gave me this look that dripped with incredulity that almost made me want to put the tube back and go elsewhere. It got me thinking: was it because I'm fat? Because I'm a woman? Something else? Just annoyed that I wasn't willing to give them more business?

Because I'm fat?
This seemed the most obvious. Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I've always been fat or that I don't have some experience with trying to get in shape. While I've struggled with my weight to some degree since high school, most of my obesity stems from my college years (excessive eating, poor food choices, reduction of activity, onset of sleep apnea). Before college I actually walked and biked a great deal to most of my destinations around my hometown, which let me tell you is a lot easier to do in a populated city than it is to do in rural areas.

Because I'm a woman?
I would hope not. It seems like such an antiquated notion that someone would think a woman can't change her own bike tire or tube these days. That notion is just plain stupid. End of thought.

My point is not so much to overthink the situation, but to wonder out loud at what seemed to be a reaction based on an assumption of some sort. And in the process, haven't I made assumptions? Crud.

Comments

[quantumswordsmn.livejournal.com]

Just shooting in the dark, I'd say it was a combination of your weight, and cloths. The clothing I've seen you wear more recently makes you look more 'sedentary', as opposed to an 'active' person (at least in my opinion) and I'd guess he doesn't have too many sedentary looking people who don't have more questions or request personal service on things like that.

Could be totally wrong though, and maybe he was just trying to drum up some easy repair business.

[zanepk.livejournal.com]

The "because you're a woman" thing is entirely plausible, too. We are incredibly progressive but there are still many many people who believe women just don't know how to do certain things. For instance, changing a tire on a car...or a battery in a car. My car battery died and the AAA guy was amazed I knew how to hook up a charger, I wanted to be like "It's color coded! I swear ovaries don't make me color blind!". Plus fat people are just fat, we don't try to better ourselves, we just be fat! I'm sorry you had to deal with that...but yay for bike tire tubing!

[aunrea79.livejournal.com]

It was probably both. Women are still thought of as helpless. If I go into a hardware store I get bombarded with workers asking me if I need help, but Sam never does, and he needs the help! The same goes with anything in the computer/electronics department or auto stores. I just say "no, I know what I am looking for" but they always hover around as if I might need their help in the end.

[cyberbomber.livejournal.com]

ORRR it could be none of the above... When I worked at the ski shop we were told to always ask if the customer needs help (we did bike sales and repair in the summer time) and to push us doing the work. That way we either get more money, or, we get the customer telling others that, hey this shop will fix somethings for free! At which point it hopefully brings in more money. And with all due respect, I just think everyone is just paranoid, look for the obvious first, sure, but don't read into things too deeply, chances are you just need to look at it, face value.

[srturtle.livejournal.com]

Thank you all for the comments!

Steve: I'm hoping you're right. It seems reflecting back on the situation that might be the most obvious explanation.

Allison and Candace: I'm learning that more and more since my transition. I especially love the people that need a man to confirm what you say. I get that more now.

Chris: You're probably right on pushing the service, but it was the tone in the voice rather than the persistence that really had me questioning what was going on. It was more than that RadioShack "please let me help you I get paid to do this stuff" sort of thing and more dripping with incredulity that I could change a bike tube. But you're right, I also recognize that I overreacted some.